Master of your own emotions!

When your soul & mind seeks for peace and unable to sleep whole night; accusation made by the person whom you loved so much for unable to understand the situation.

When we look at the ancient history of our country we saw many examples of perfect couples as Ram and Sita and at the same time, the understanding they have is well known to us either it’s about Agni pariksha or Lakshman Rekha. In each of this difficult time, you can see the level of understanding with that amount of responsibility they have while taking a decision in life.

We dreamt a lot and planned for our future and then after few months she came up with new things “Time”.  Personal life is the course of an individual’s life, especially when viewed as the sum of personal choices contributing to one’s personal identity. Lack of time management can lead to this situation when an individual looks at the time as a reason for the ending a relationship.

“Freedom” The power or right to act, speak or think as one wants. Did that mean you can talk to whoever knowing the fact it’s not good for you? This comes into picture when either your parents or girlfriend or boyfriend try to give advice on some serious issues. I do remember mom told me to study while I want to watch a movie and that moment the word came into my mind is freedom; since she loved me a lot keep saying the same until I start studies.

What if I could have asked her something but let it be I don’t want now –

In the moonlight walking in the park, did you hold the hand of new guy as same you use to hold mine?

On the coffee table with every sip of it, do you explain him whole your life as you explained to me?

On the bike with winds blowing your hairs, do you kiss on his neck as you did on mine?

Once he drops you at your place, do you hug him the same way as you did to me?

Did you share your beautiful picture with him as you did with me?

Are you going to play with his emotions as you played with mine?

Will you?


Couple goals


Freedom is what every one of us looking for however every doing either it is right or wrong linked by freedom.

The strange change that can be clearly observed while checking out the social media that freedom can be express in pictures too and that too when couples kiss and post it and of course the majority of them are below 17. Either 90’s kid too long to grow them self or next generation is super-fast.

Back to my college day, I do still remember the conversation had with my sports office about love, affection. The reason behind this conversation was one of our team players told management that he wants his girlfriend to be part of every match as she is his lucky charm.

As every sports teacher in this world is strict so as mine, he is fumed by lucky charm thing and told that this thing won’t work in sports as I countered him, sir, they both love each other and in past also we have seen this player performance at the top whenever she is in stands.

After minutes of silence.

Look, son, there are 3 stages of love with this statement sir begin to explain the stages

  1. Before marriage – This can be called immaturity or attraction or curiosity of getting physical with someone and 90% of people fall into this trap considering that it’s their true love.
  2. After marriage – The moment everything is well you are trying to understand each other and actually you don’t have any option other than fall in love for the person
  3. After Kids – The sense of maturity, understanding, and emotions still present between you and your wife after having kids believe me then only you can say that is true love.

What is said may be correct or not but once the things are done then you cannot rectify.

Couple goals that terminology that does not have significance when my parents got married that only thing value that time is trust, understanding and emotional support that is more important than the couple goals post which we keep seeing nowadays.

Here I am not talking about ethics or culture but just for saying a couple below 17 years posting their kissing picture on social media keeping hashtags and keeping fighting over the call then that sort of goals are below standards.

Then again words of sir come in mind may be the 90% are doing the same thing but hold for a second and again think once things are posted on social media then you can’t rectify it.

Thing is getting change but for me couple goal will be hold on…………………………………..


I am not going to share that on social media 😉

Nuptial Surprise

“Your smile is literally the cutest I have ever seen in my life”

Unclear thought, Unclear past moving forward into the friends wedding after almost losing all the good will and good stuff Alex had in his life. The loss in business and ramping down of it does not stop him from attending Ginny’s wedding physically but mentally 200 million thoughts running through his mind.

Cold breeze day and Ginny is worried obviously wedding decision is not easy for her. I was interacting with her about our journey in the meanwhile heard a voice, Amelia Tall girl with sharp eyes with proper eyeliner, black hairs, and her smiley face her first glance. I have not talked to her much just formal interaction then we move on.

Loud Music, delicious food and winter evening with the worst moves on the beats and after 24 hours she again comes to my sight even more beautiful than the previous time Black attire glowing skin and that black necklace wait Alex does not again stop moving your thoughts the first reaction comes to my mind.

Oh shut up and I move forward to her having some words and no matter what the topic was my eyes were stuck to her lips as she opens her lips to talk and that awesome smile glancing at the beauty is the best thing you can do when you don’t have a topic to talk.  We moved into the bride room and I am trying to know her but Amelia is busy on her phone after spending about 2 hours together, I come to the conclusion that doesn’t try to understand a beautiful girl because you can’t just observe the beauty and shut your idiotic mouth.

Her attire keeps on changing the like the beautiful season from black to green then that white-red combination is like the cherry on the cream cake. Many of the guys in wedding trying to impress her but she don’t know about it and I am not one of them since I am good at judging my capability. No chance to impress the girl like her, boy remember the limits keep telling myself and the funny part is she almost called me brother. Hurt out the moment that was and like the angels go missing in the heaven she went within a span of time.

I came to know she is single and she loves her freedom but for Alex Amelia is unapproachable always.

“Feelings that come back and feel that never left”

Blessing in disguise the policemen – part 2

16, November Bell rings it was a text message “I am back to 63B street” and jeff replied that’s great. It was a peak time in jeff life as going to complete his office project and getting promoted for his good work with huge perks and he was a big busy at that time.

18, November Bell again ring it was a text message again from Annie “you told me to meet when I will be there but you forget” jeff replied “No not like that let’s meet today? you can come one of my friends is also coming we can meet Annie replied.

Jeff thought for a while might be she is in a relationship and her boyfriend is coming to meet her that why calling me at the same time. Jeff replied, ” I have some work today, sorry we will meet some other day” that was the full lie because he wants to meet her alone.

19, November jeff text Annie can we go for a drive today? Annie replied “At 7:30 at 62B street ;).

It was long time jeff did not date anyone nor the long drives so excitement was at the peak as he gets prepared with the attire to shoes and went on time to pick her. Her first look was amazing a black top and blue denim shorts. However, it was not so cold at that time but when a hot girl sits on the back side on your bike there was shiver in the body and sweating in palms that are actually going with jeff.

Long drive start with talks and she checked one of the guys and said look at him he was good, at least stop looking at other when you are with me jeff replied. you are mine why should I bother about you and jeff asked what? nothing just drive she replied and chuckles.

On the construction site jeff stopped the bike and said it being long I have seen a beautiful girl like you can we stop and talk so I can have more time to look at your beauty.

Remembering the old time and talks and exchanging the hobbies we have not noticed the time and it was too late and we heard the police siren and they come and stopped in front of us. Then the interrogation starts and bribe always works even in our country we got out of that by giving $400.

Jeff feels so embarrassed because out of $400 70% is Annie gave and she was so frightened too.  I started the bike and she sits closer than the previous time and hugged me tightly and said let go please I am so frightened. Jeff holds her hand and said I LOVE YOU Annie that was not he has planned but it suddenly comes out from his mouth. I know she replied.

We keep meeting and always laugh at the policemen incident. Jeff asked her about the relationship she said I can’t because of past bad experience. Not an issue we will be good friend Jeff replied.

Hug from her that day still fresh in jeff memory and always think is that blessing in disguise for him…






This day big change in my life, as it’s like learning from love. Kunika was just sitting next to me in one of my friends flat and I don’t know what going to happen in the next second. As I asked her to watch movie with me and as she sit just next to me, I just move one of my hand over her head so she can put her neck and rest in my arms.

As we were sharing the beautiful time,  she is enjoy the movie but for me it’s her closeness that matters and she just kept her head on my lap and watched the rest of the movie, I was looking at her all the time and acknowledging the god’s creation and her cuteness.

My heart say common don’t miss this time at least let her know you love her so much and what she matters to you. It take me 2 hour to think should I go for it or not and finally, I moved my lips towards her ears and tell kunika are you sleeping? She said no. I just want to tell you that this is the best time I have ever had thanks for coming today and ………. I  LOVE YOU …….. (I mange that after a long wait of 4 months). She replied Thank you for loving me (frankly I am expecting more words from her but she always did the same thing).

As we are about to sleep, I was just laying right next to her with a bit confidence raised my palm on her cheek and said I am expecting something more. She replied there is no sense in going into all this stull I am going to marry in next few months (did she just said marry) my dreams shattered there only but my heart is not ready to give up.

I was unable to sleep for the whole night as she is sleeping right next to me, can feel her breath on my forearm and looking at her sleepy face I feel in love again with a girl who is going to marry someone in next few months.

Many things going in my mind and waiting for the morning. Its 10 AM and she was awake and sitting close to me and we were talking some shit, suddenly I break the terms and asked I am addicted to you, attracted towards you… do you not felt the same or a bit like that?

No I did not felt any of this stuff (My heart shrink that time) she replied straight way because if I started liking anyone then I want it or else I will cry (baby I don’t want to make you cry but at least say you felt the same).

In terms of percentage how much I impressed you, 80% she replied (God is this not enough for be a boyfriend even government jobs % is less than that) and then I tell her at last you looking amazing while you sleep.


Did she felt the same?

Its last day in office for me and I word the orange colour shirt because kunika likes that, as I picked her and we went together. I was a bit emotional as it’s my nature and I cannot change that as everyone from super eight come to me and talked about it. As we were eating breakfast and her best friend arrived at cafeteria she leave me there only and went with him, knowing that it was my last day and at that instant I make the decision not going to take to her from the next day because I cannot myself every time.

I fought with everyone to prove the kunika is the girl I can trust and she can never lie to me and she will stand with me when I need her at most but at that instant I am cursing myself and bursting out in anger. As she came back and asked me what happen? I burst out my anger and tell her what she has done and what is going to be consequence but a guy can never make a girl upset whom he love the most. I talked to her again and make things between us more comfortable, but the super eight were not happy with her because of this.

As the hours completed, I came out of the floor after meeting with everyone and the just touching the floor as a hindu tradition because this place gave me money, friends, education and most importantly kunika. We walked together as all gathered we went for a small get together and hours pass so quickly at the end of party I hugged her and said take care kunika, I am really going to miss you and I was about to say I love you but again I stopped myself.

One of my friend cum brother come to me and said you feel good after talking to her and I replied yes then don’t stop talking to her because no one matter for you when it came to kunika’s comfort. I know he is saying the truth, I acknowledge this and went home and texted kunika again take care.

As I moved to new office, I had never expected that kunika and I going to get more in touch as we used to talk on call for hours in night for weeks and share a good time but god gives you a roller coaster ride, I called her one day she is crying I don’t know what happen ? But I just want to know everything.

He proposed me? I asked who. My best friend and I tell her it’s going to happened I told you earlier. I was curious to know her reply but she said I don’t gave him answer asked for more time and my anger level went so high. I could she do this and if she is going to be with him then why is she talking to me?

As It happened in past, I compose my anger in positive way and let her take decision either me or him because I am not that kind of person who can be an option of anyone.  We did not talked much about this for two days just morning messages but somewhere in my heart I am missing her.

On the third day she text me and we started talking like stranger and I don’t want to waste time asked her can I make a call at this hour? She replied yes.

As the call start she is expecting that I want to know about the decision she replied I refused his proposal. It’s a sign of relief for me but I did not said anything more about it and diverted the point but somewhere I just want to listen from her. Did she feel the same for me due to which she refused the decision or it’s just her choice not make boyfriend let there be friend in life?

One thing I know is that God is not going to come down to help you out from this, you have to make way of your own without hurting anyone and this is the most difficult task it can be for an emotional individual like me.

Kunika can tell me that I don’t love but I can be a trusted one for you, I know she is but she never said this thing at that night and as girls are unpredicted, I too not force her for anything to say just cut the call and slept calmly after two days.